I suddenly became ill on Jan., 27, 1991. I was an active woman\u2014a wife and the full-time working mother of two sons, a 3-year-old and a 6-week-old. I wrote the following poem two years later as it expressed the raw emotions I felt living with ME\/CFS. It has truly been a roller coaster ride, with the \u201cpeaks\u201d less than 50 percent of the \u201cperson I used to be\u201d pre-illness.<\/p>\n
I am now in my 26th year of living with this illness. This last year has been brutal, leaving me mostly homebound. I could have sat down today, this many years later, and written this same poem. Other than the change of name from CFIDS to ME\/CFS, the feelings are the same.<\/p>\n
My life is forever changed and continuing on, with a purpose for each day, is my goal. I have learned to rely on faith, gratitude, mindfulness and grit.<\/p>\n
\u00a0O<\/strong>n track with a loving family and rewarding career,<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0L<\/strong>ooking forward to accomplishing more of my life\u2019s ambitions,<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0L<\/strong>iving for future glories to become happy memories,<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0E<\/strong>verything is at an accelerated pace.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0R<\/strong>ight when my life seems at its peak; the ride takes a dip.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0C<\/strong>FIDS.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0O<\/strong>h, the anxiety, the exhaustion, the pain, the fright, the isolation.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0A<\/strong>nger surfaces and bursts out at every opportunity.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0S<\/strong>elf-esteem plummets\u2014where are all my pillars of pride?<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0T<\/strong>oday stretches into a thousand tomorrows in snail\u2019s-pace motion.<\/p>\n \u00a0E<\/strong>xistence becomes a day by day, minute by minute effort.<\/p>\n R<\/strong>elinquishing independence, fighting for an ounce of energy; rest and more rest.<\/p>\n \u00a0R<\/strong>egaining momentum; Reflecting on my life; Searching my soul for gems of truth,<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0I<\/strong>nching my way forward, ever thankful for small shifts\u2014both mind and body.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0D<\/strong>etermined that I will conquer this illness, whether cured or not;<\/p>\n \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0E<\/strong>nding one cycle only to catch another Roller Coaster Ride.<\/p>\n Lisa Ann DeLisle Espiritu, 1993<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Humans of ME\/CFS I suddenly became ill on Jan., 27, 1991. I was an active woman\u2014a wife and the full-time working mother of two sons, a 3-year-old and a 6-week-old. I wrote the following poem two years later as it expressed the raw emotions I felt living with ME\/CFS. It has truly been a roller […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":420,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/lisa_e.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=428"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/428\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humansofchronicillness.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}