Humans of ME/CFS
In 2005, my life was great. I was married to my best friend and we had a 1½ year- old daughter. I farmed with my dad and I was able to be a mom and wife fulltime. We were the family everyone wanted to be.
In November 2005, I quit nursing my daughter and my life changed. I was diagnosed with ME/CFS in May, 2006. In 2009, I needed two major back surgeries and two other surgeries within a three month span. I went from being a hard worker to being a depressed, lazy, feeling- sorry-for-myself. I couldn’t work anymore, couldn’t keep up with the housework, and couldn’t contribute to our finances. By the fall of 2010, my husband was sick of my pity party and laziness, and found someone else to take my place. He filed for divorce in April 2011, and left my daughter and me without looking back.
The last five years have been nonstop stress, which has been very difficult for me. ME/CFS and stress don’t work. I’m now a single mom raising my daughter alone on my disability check. I don’t even know where my ex-husband lives now. I’m sick all the time and feel as if I have no immune system left. I’ve become allergic to many antibiotics, so treatment for my illness is becoming difficult.
I have chronic open skin ulcers all over my body, including my face, that won’t heal. I’ve had some of them for years. My teeth are crumbling. I feel that my body is slowly just shutting down. I have 17 diagnosed medical conditions or diseases that ME/CFS is responsible for. Every year more medical conditions are added to the list.
I’ve lost all my friends and have no support or help. I exist for my daughter. My parents are the only people left that communicate with me. I’m isolated in a life surrounded by people that used to be my family or friends. I’m not being over-dramatic or throwing a pity party when I say that there are only five people in this world that would care if I died. I’m being completely honest saying that.
Thankfully, my doctor has figured out medications that make it possible to raise my daughter. I take large doses of pain and depression medication. Without my medications, I wouldn’t be able to leave my bed. Even so, I rarely am able to leave the house.
ME/CFS cost me the man that still has my heart. I feel it has also taken my life. I exist only for my daughter. Once she grows up and moves out, my purpose for existing will be gone and so will what little hope I have left.