Humans of ME/CFS
I try not to talk about it too much. Who wants to hear only about negativity and complaints? I try to not talk about the fact that I had to resign from a great government job that I had for 18 years. Now I am on disability; it is my only income. I try to not talk about how I lost probably the only house I will ever own. I am now renting in a bad neighborhood. There are no other landlords willing to give me a chance due to my horrible credit. Social media has become my main communication tool since I do not get out very often. I try to only post about when I am having a good day or if I am not having one; I post about other random things. I try to not post about how much I miss doing “normal people” things: going to work, getting into my car to drive somewhere without the fear of getting the weird, surreal, dream-like feeling that scares the heck out of me, or not feeling so weak that I cannot even get out of bed to take my daughter to school. I try to not post about how I sometimes even feel a little resentful of people who some would say have a “real” illness. I try to not post about how the guilt I feel far outweighs any physical pain I may be going through. I really do try.